I have my silly high school x-"love" to thank for-if not for him breaking my tender junior high school heart, i would never have found solace in your arms..eeww! :D
I can still remember how i loathe you, how you're sort of my boyfriend but not really, how i agreed to be your girlfriend just because i don't want to look like a loser after X has broken up with me. I remember how annoyed i get when you come to pick me up at school unannounced. I remember how i cried like a psycho when you asked me to commute with you. I remember how i like being around you but not really?! :D I remember how i can't make you hang with me at Starbucks because you can't tolerate how arte my friends and i get. I remember telling them that you're too old for me and it's just fun having you around. I remember how i tell my friends that i'm still not over X and i don't really like you.
And then one freaking morning, i just woke up realizing that you're so much a part of me than i intend you to be. That no matter how annoyed i am, i can't seem to pull away from you. I came to
10 years, 11 months, 29 days and some hours after... right this moment, i am beat with so many emotions. I can't help but get teary eyed looking back- from how we started to the countless times we fought and weathered each hurdle to make everything work.
I have so much to be thankful for but let me write down a few for you:
2004: You taught me to "live"-get out of my comfort zone, be one with the world. Enjoy life, not to worry, get drunk, take risks and come out of it alive. Thank you for taking me to Quiapo, Divisoria, Taft, Malate and showing me that the world has a lot to offer-that there is beauty in the less finer things in life. That taking a jeep doesn't make you less of a person and salted egg with kamatis tastes great! ;)
2005: You taught me that it's okay to make bad choices as long as you're ready to face the consequences and you're willing to make things right. Changing schools, shifting from one course to another, choosing the "better" set of friends-i failed numerous times but you we're there ready to support me until i find that "balance" to go on with that phase of life. You were the best friend i always knew i needed. You were more than just a boyfriend, you were a friend more than anything and a brother to say the least.
2006: You showed me that the people who's most dear to you can break you in to pieces-that the person who you least expect to hurt you can actually do- but you don't just crumble and fall-you pick up the broken pieces and try to put it back together. You and my best friend broke my heart-ironically, you we're the one who pieced it back together. You defied trust for me, and i came out of it stronger.
2007: You taught me to be independent-you showed me the value of money- that in life you have to work hard to deserve good things. You showed me that life is not easy as it used to be. You helped me transition from being the spoiled brat who's used to everything handed down to her to a confident working girl who can afford to shop without having to ask from my Mama or Papa.
2008: You sheltered me. I don't have to elaborate on this one-you were my home, my source of peace and solace.
2009: You showed me the beauty of the world literally. Thank you for taking me to new places, trying new things and sharing new discoveries. You awakened the lakwachera in me and you made me look forward to more adventures with you. Those experiences were priceless and i owe that to you.
2010: You made me realize my worth-as an individual, a daughter, a friend and a partner. You're confidence in me never wavered since day one-only this time you were too eager for me to flourish and maximize my potential. You trust that i can be a better person for my family and that i did. You believed that i can excel at work and true enough i was. You showed me how i can be a better partner by setting the best examples and thou i can never rival what you've shown me,i hope somehow i came close. :)
2011: You've been a sturdy rock for me that when nothing in my world seemed right, you were a constant reminder that it can never be too bad. This may sound gasgas but yeah, during a dark phase in my life, you were the only thing that seemed right. Thank you for not giving up on me even if i keep trying to push you away. Thank you for being my light in the dark. Thank you for bringing me back sense when i lost it.
2012: You taught me that there's more to life than the things money can buy. Life is not just about the superficial things it can offer. At the end of the day, it's not about the material things you posses, it's about your sense of contentment and the virtue of being grateful. We had the worst fights about our finances, we argued and we cried. We said words that we can never take back. We were almost hopeless but we managed to stick together, patch up, prayed hard and came out of it alive. I'd like to believe that those wounds have healed and that it only made us stronger. Thank you for being strong for us both. Just thank you.
2013: You helped me ACCEPT. Accept that things will never go the way we planned it, accept that change is a constant thing in life, accept that even if shit happens...life goes on. This year has been emotionally draining-from work demands to other people's demands. It was hard, being physically away and almost emotionally distant from you and yet here you are again, always the bigger person making things easy for me. I never thought it would work-but you made it possible. You watched me overcome my fears, be tough for us and do something for us-on my own. Thank you soooo much! My heart swells with joy that at this point,looking back at what we went through last years-i can only sigh. What the hell!? We did it. Thank you for never losing hope.
2014: Thank you for the better days-i know the storm is not over yet, it's just there silently waiting for us to go wrong and then the storm will start brewing again but you're there making sure that we're stronger that that storm. Thank you for making each day better, for working harder for our future and for simply dedicating almost everything for what's ahead of us. Thank you for slowly but surely making our dreams real. Thank you for always thinking about our future and of course thank you for wanting me to be a part of that future.
Whatever i am now, whatever i have become, everything i have achieved, whatever i believe, whatever i chose, you are always a part of it.
Cheers to Eleven freakin' years of love and life's roller coaster ride!
11 years down, an eternity to go! :)
xoxo
e
